


like a bottle of wine

by takingbackmylife



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, idk they're drinking wine and judy is sad and they're in love, jen is soooooo soft it's stupid, just another bitch using folklore lyrics as a fic title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25564417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takingbackmylife/pseuds/takingbackmylife
Summary: Jen took a swig of the wine, closing her eyes as she breathed in and smelled the citrus-y scent of Judy’s perfume. She allowed herself a moment to savor it - she always allowed herself just one single moment - and then she opened her eyes back up and asked Judy if she needed a refill.
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 31
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiii, i was listening to folklore and thinking about judy's mommy issues and about how much jen loves her and i opened google docs and voila. 
> 
> i haven't written for Dead To Me before but i have read all 245 fanfics in this tag and i felt the need to give back to the community.
> 
> title is from "August" by taylor swift. 
> 
> enjoy! xo
> 
> p.s. i realized a couple days after posting chapter two that none of the italics showed up for either chapter. i write with a lot of italics because i'm annoying, so apologies if you read this before i got that fixed! 
> 
> p.p.s chapter one is rated T, chapter two is rated E. if you're just here for smut, you could skip to chapter two, but it definitely flows better if you read this chapter first. :)

It was an unusually cool August evening when it finally happened.

The breeze had a bitterness to it that normally would have kept Jen indoors, and her weather app said it was supposed to thunderstorm, but Judy had _insisted_ on using the hot tub that night - had given Jen those pleading puppy dog eyes that once upon a time she had been able to say no to - but alas, that had changed, so there she was, feet in the hot tub, half-filled wine glass in hand, shoulder bumping against Judy’s as they leaned into each other, Judy laughing at Jen’s account of some smartass remark Charlie had made earlier.

Jen took a swig of the wine, closing her eyes as she breathed in and smelled the citrus-y scent of Judy’s perfume. She allowed herself a moment to savor it - she always allowed herself just one single moment - and then she opened her eyes back up and asked Judy if she needed a refill.

As she was standing in the kitchen pouring Judy her third glass of wine, she tried to center herself by thinking about anything besides the woman sitting just outside the door with her feet in the hot tub, with a tendril of hair blowing back and forth in the breeze, with a smile so haunted by sadness it made Jen’s heart physically ache.

God, she was so fucked.

***

“So, are you like, okay?”

Judy’s head popped up at the question. She had been staring down at the water in the hot tub for a suspiciously long time, and Jen was trying to be better about asking her what was wrong when something clearly was, trying to be better about gently encouraging Judy to share her emotions instead of screaming at her or insulting her or doing any of the other horrible fucking things she’d done in the past.

Judy flashed her signature sad smile at Jen, which made Jen bite her lip to keep from rolling her eyes, because how could Judy think she didn’t see through that bullshit after everything?

“I’m okay, thanks for asking.”

Jen nudged Judy’s arm, bringing her hand down to rest atop Judy’s, lacing their fingers together.

“For someone who lied about killing my husband, you’re actually like, a really bad liar.”

Judy burst out laughing, and Jen just smirked at her.

They were really fucked up, but she kind of didn’t care, and she kind of hoped Ted was rolling in his grave watching his wife make jokes with the woman who (accidentally, mind you) killed him, the woman who had become her best friend, the woman who she had somehow fallen really fucking hard for.

“We’re pretty messed up, aren’t we?”

Jen squeezed her hand. “Yeah, but I’m kind of okay with it.”

Judy smiled at her, and as happy as she was to see Judy smiling, Jen wasn’t letting her get off that easy.

“Seriously, Judes. You’ve seemed off all day. Why don’t you tell me what’s up?”

Judy shrugged. “It’s really stupid.”

Jen narrowed her eyes at her. “Come on Judy, Miss you-have-to-honor-your-feelings and all that shit. I’m sure it’s not stupid. Especially if it’s making you upset.”

Judy’s eyes returned to their place staring at the water, her eyes transfixed on the bubbles surrounding her and Jen’s legs.

“It’s her birthday.”

“Whose, babe?”

“My mom’s.”

Jen just squeezed Judy’s hand again, waiting to see if Judy would elaborate. Judy rarely brought up Eleanor - but when she did, Jen immediately flashed back to her screaming in Judy’s face about how stupid she was for loving that dreadful woman, and the guilt was so crushing she couldn’t get air into her lungs, didn’t even want to - wanted to let herself feel the pain, because she deserved to feel pain for saying such shitty fucking things to the one living being in the world who loved her unconditionally.

But Judy wouldn’t want her to feel pain, so she forced herself to keep it together as she caressed Judy’s hand with her fingers, gently encouraging her to continue.

“Her birthday is like, one of the few genuinely _good_ memories I have of her. Of us. She loved her birthday. She usually wasn’t high on her birthday, and she was usually home.”

Judy shrugged as she continued. “Those two things rarely happened on their own, let alone simultaneously.”

“Jeez, Judes. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no. Don’t be sorry. These are _good_ memories, remember?”

Judy hiccuped as she took another sip of her wine - it was her third glass, and she was such a goddamn lightweight. “There was one birthday - I was probably 10 or 11 - where I convinced the neighbor to take me to the store while my mom was out, and I got cake mix and frosting and sprinkles, and I worked so hard making this cake for her, wrote ‘Happy Birthday Mom’ in frosting on it and everything, and when she came home, she was so happy that there was cake - I remember she lifted me up and spun me around in her arms and kissed my head and told me what a good girl I was. She was so _excited_ , and she was _proud_ of me, and for a couple hours, I felt like we were normal. Like we were a real family who celebrated birthdays like you’re supposed to, with candles and cake and love.”

Judy sniffled, and Jen just kept caressing her hand, worried she’d sob if she tried to speak right now.

“Anyway, I am okay. I’m just. I don’t know. I know it’s silly, but I wish I could celebrate one more birthday with her. Make one more good memory.”

Jen smiled at her sadly, reaching up to brush the tendril of hair out of Judy’s face that she’d been staring at all night. “I don’t think that’s silly, babe.”

“Yeah, you do. But that’s okay.”

Jen hesitated, not sure what kind of territory they were entering, not sure if Judy was making an off-hand comment or if she was calling Jen out on her shit.

“No, I really don’t think it’s silly at all. I think it’s fucking brave that you wish you could celebrate with your mom. After all the shit she put you through, and you still want to do something nice for her?”

Jen reached her hand up, cupping Judy’s cheek, gently lifting her eyes to meet hers, needing Judy to really understand that she wasn’t just placating her, but was being really fucking honest - probably the most honest she’s ever been in her life.

“You are the best fucking person I know, okay? And the kindest, and the bravest, and every other good thing - you’re it. You beat everyone else at just, like, being the best.”

So maybe Jen was already on her fourth glass and maybe she wasn’t being the most eloquent right now, so she really tried to focus on Judy’s eyes, and on conveying what she was feeling by looking into them. Which was really fucking corny but if that’s what it took for Judy to understand that she thought she was like, the fucking sun and stars and all that shit, then so be it.

Judy’s eyes shone with unshed tears, and she reached up to dab at her eyes, whispering “Thank you, Jen” so quietly that Jen almost didn’t hear her.

“I love you. You know that.”

Judy smiled. “I do.”

“Okay. Good.”

Judy smiled wider. “Great.”

A beat passed, and then “But like, how _much_ do you love me?”

“Oh Christ, Judy. A lot, okay?”

Judy laughed. “Nah, that’s not good enough. I need details. Maybe a metaphor? Or song lyrics that convey your undying love for me?”

“I take it all back. I hate you so fucking much.”

“If only that were true. You looooove me.”

“Yeah, too much,” said Jen quietly, hesitantly.

Three-glasses-of-wine-in Judy suddenly had both of her hands on either side of four-glasses-of-wine-in Jen’s face, and Jen closed her eyes, bracing for the impact of wanton yearning or blissful fulfillment, she wasn’t sure which (she wasn’t sure which she wanted it to be).

She opened her eyes, prepared to either face her fears and jump off this ledge with Judy, or run away and go to sleep dreaming of brunette locks and hippie dresses and the scent of weed mixed with chamomile.

Hell, she might as well nudge this in the direction that her subconscious desperately wants it to go in.

“You know, if I hadn’t finished off the bottle of cabernet, I might be able to think of some metaphors like you requested.”

Jen squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Fucking shit.

“But I can do you one better.”

She leaned in, eyes still closed, silently begging Judy to meet her halfway, to hold her hand while they leaped off the cliff, to look at all the fucking shit this year had thrown at them and look at how they made it out on the other side and to think about what that means, what it _could_ mean.

Judy’s lips met hers, soft and warm amidst the cold evening breeze, and Jen couldn’t help but grin, the wine and Judy’s mouth combining to bring her the most peace she has felt in literal years.

And Jen may not have been able to think of a metaphor, but the skies decided to help her out with a crack of thunder and a smattering of rain drops, because after this shitstorm of a year, they deserved to kiss in the rain, dammit.

Judy pulled back, and Jen instantly missed her lips, craved the feeling of love and safety and _hope_ that they’d brought her.

“Thank you, Jen.”

“For what, babe? Kissing you? Making you stay out here and get rained on?”

“For giving me the good memory I needed today. For giving me all the good memories a gal could have.”

Jen wiped raindrops off of Judy’s face, brushing that persistent tendril of hair out of her face once more. “You deserve good memories.”

“Should we...make some more good memories inside? You see, I’ve got this bed right over there in the guest house…”

Jen grinned. “Damn Judy, I kiss you one time and you’re trying to get me into bed already?”

“What can I say, the heart wants what it wants.”

“Fine, but no metaphors or song lyrics or any of that shit, like, _during_.”

Judy laughed. “Buckle up, Harding. I’ll have you serenading me with love songs by morning.”

***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i originally had zero intentions of writing a second chapter of this. but then you guys left such nice comments, and then christina and linda both got emmy nominations, and then linda referred to christina as her person, and suddenly i was back on my jen/judy bullshit.
> 
> i intended to just immediately get into the smut right at the beginning of this chapter, and then my brain decided to throw even more feelings and dialogue at you? but i swear there is smut in this!!! 
> 
> please note that i've updated the rating of this fic to Explicit, so feel free to skip this chapter if that's not your thing. :)
> 
> enjoy!!!

The drizzle was quickly turning into a steadfast rain, leading to Jen (reluctantly) pulling her lips away from Judy’s neck.

“We should probably move this to the guest house like you suggested.”

Judy grinned wolfishly back at her. “Like I suggested _ten_ minutes ago. We could’ve been laying in a dry bed this whole time.”

“Well forgive me for going all fucking soft and shit and not wanting to stop kissing you.”

“Jen Harding? Gone _soft_? This is one for the books.”

Jen jabbed at Judy’s shoulder. “I hate you. Just for that, I’m going up to my room.”

Judy waggled her eyebrows. “Ooooooh, we’re going up to your _room_? You move fast, Harding. I’m into it.”

“No no, I’m going to my room. You’re going to the guest house.”

Judy pouted and began playing with the hem of Jen’s shirt, making Jen take an involuntary intake of breath as Judy’s fingers gently slipped underneath, rubbing light circles along her stomach.

“I just feel like you would miss me if I was all the way out here while you’re laying in your room thinking about me.”

Jen snorted. “Jeez Judes, don’t flatter yourself or anything.”

Judy laughed, continuing to rub circles across the planes of Jen’s stomach. “How are we still sitting out here in the rain when we _could_ be inside doing other things?”

“Because we’re both impossible.”

“Fair point.”

Jen slipped her own hand under her shirt to find Judy’s, clasping their hands together as she stood up from the edge of the hot tub, pulling Judy along with her.

“Come on, you’re shivering.”

“Ooooh, you gonna keep me warm tonight?”  
  
“I’m about to leave you outside in the middle of a thunderstorm if you don’t cut the shit.”

Judy just grinned wider. “You literally love it.”

“No comment.”

***

Jen was helping Judy towel dry her hair, alternating between patting sections down with a wash cloth and combing her fingers through it, partially because it had gotten slightly tangled in the rain, and partially because she’d been waiting fucking _months_ to run her fingers through Judy’s hair.

“Are you still cold, babe?”

Judy smiled up at Jen from where she was sitting perched on Jen’s bathroom counter. “Nah, you warmed me right up.”

Jen rolled her eyes, placing the washcloth on the counter and standing between Judy’s legs, settling her hands on either side of Judy’s waist. “Time for bed?”

Judy grinned mischievously and suddenly wrapped her legs around Jen’s waist. “Ready, Freddie!”

“Judy. I’m not fucking carrying you.”

Judy dug the back of her heels into Jen’s back, pushing Jen even closer to her so they were flush against each other.

“Why not?”

Jen’s eyes narrowed. “You are something else, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.”

Jen suddenly moved her hands to Judy’s ass, lifting her up in one swift motion, making Judy literally _giggle_ , a sound that Jen didn’t want to admit made her deliriously happy.

“You’re so lucky you’re cute.”

Jen carried Judy over to the bed, a rather difficult task considering Judy began kissing her neck in _juuuust_ the right spot before she had even taken two steps.

“Fuck, Jude.”

“Oooh, is that a good spot? Noted.”

Jen deposited her down onto the bed, watching as Judy climbed over to her side (the fact that Judy had spent enough time in her bed that she had a _side_ and yet it still took them this long to get here was a conversation for another day).

“Oh, are you going to bed?”

Judy made a big show out of yawning, raising her arms over her head as she settled against the pillow. “Yeah, figured we should just go to sleep.”

“Mmhm. Sure.”

Jen climbed into bed next to Judy, pulling the blankets up to cover them as Judy immediately rolled over and snuggled into Jen’s side, Jen’s arm automatically reaching over to wrap around her.

“You know what’s weird?”

Judy cocked her head to one side. “Hmm?”

“This isn’t weird. Like...at all.”

Judy smiled hesitantly, maybe a bit nervously. “Did you think it would be?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been wanting to get in your pants for months. But I was fucking scared, Jude. I thought...” Jen’s voice cracked despite herself. “I thought I’d ruin everything.”

The wine was still in her system and she was suddenly feeling vulnerable now that they were lying in her room, no rain or wine glasses or hot tub to distract them. Just a slightly damp Judy tangled up in her sheets.

Judy brought her hand up to gently stroke Jen’s cheek, Jen automatically relaxing into her touch, already addicted to the feeling of Judy making her feel better (as if she hadn’t been addicted to that feeling since their first late-night phone call, as if that feeling isn’t exactly what led them here).

“You could never ruin this, Jen. How many times have _I_ almost ruined this, ruined us? But we’re here.”

Jen reached up to clasp Judy’s hand that was on her cheek, turning it over so she could kiss her palm. “I’m so glad we’re here. So glad _you’re_ here.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Jen smiled at her. “Me neither,” she whispered.

Judy’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. She looked down, averting her gaze from Jen’s, but nuzzled even closer into her, hooking her leg over Jen’s as she burrowed her face into Jen’s chest.

Jen’s hand immediately moved to gently cup the back of Judy’s head, trying to encourage her to look back up at her. “Jude? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t deserve this, Jen. I don’t deserve _you_.”

Jen sighed. “Judy. We’ve had this conversation so many times. And you know I’ll say it over and over until I’m blue in the face, will never stop reminding you that you deserve everything good in the world. But I need you to start believing me.”

Jen could feel Judy’s tears against her chest. “I don’t know if I can do this,” Judy whispered against her.

Jen’s stomach suddenly seized with fear. Judy sounded so small and scared. She didn’t think she could handle it if they got this close to getting everything she _knew_ they both wanted only to watch it slip through her grasp, only to lose this part of Judy that she was just getting to know, this part of her that she was already so stupid in love with.

“Please don’t say that.”

“I don’t know if this is the same for you as it is for me. And if it’s not, it’s okay. But I can’t do this.”

Jen stared at her quizzically. “What are you talking about?”

“This is like... _it_ for me, Jen. Like...the metaphors. And the songs. You’re it.”

“Oh my god. Judy. Baby. Look at me.”

Judy slowly lifted her head, meeting Jen’s gaze. Jen wiped her tears away as she took a breath, steeling herself for an amount of vulnerability that was way out of her comfort zone. But if this was what Judy needed right now, then she would give it to her. She would give her anything she wanted, anything she needed.

“I was ready to be alone for the rest of my life, Judy. I had fully accepted the fact that I was going to go to bed alone every night. That I was going to raise my kids alone. That I would never let myself fall in love again because it wasn’t worth the fucking effort. Wasn’t worth the risks. And then you happened.”

Jen took a deep breath. “A horrible thing happened and somehow we both came out on the other side of it. On paper, this makes no fucking sense. It’s absolutely psychotic. But god, Judy...I’ve never been this happy. Do you get that? I was married for twenty years and I’ve never felt like this.”

Jen moved her hands to Judy’s face, leaning in to kiss one of her stray tears away. “It’s you, baby. I wouldn’t be suddenly dipping into the lady-pond in my mid-fucking-fifties for anyone else.”

Judy was crying harder now, but laughing as she buried her face into Jen’s neck, Jen’s arms moving to hold her tightly against her chest.

“If you didn’t get that, that was my very eloquent way of saying that I’m like, super fucking in love with you.”

Judy laughed harder as she lifted her head. “God, I fucking love you. I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

Jen kissed her, trying to communicate without words that it was okay, that they would get better at this, that they had all the time in the world to get used to this.

“I know we’re being all emotional and shit, but Jude, all I want to do is get you out of this robe.”

“Oh, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

Needing no further encouragement, Jen moved to untie Judy’s robe, skimming her hands down Judy’s arms and across her stomach as she watched the robe fall from her shoulders. Judy lifted hersef up to toss the robe onto the floor, giving Jen an unobstructed view of her fucking perfect chest.

“I finally don’t have to pretend that I’m not staring at your tits.”

Judy faux gasped. “Jennifer, you’ve been _staring_?”

Jen licked her lips as she continued to, well, stare.

“Uh huh. Sure have been.” She slowly slid her hands up Judy’s stomach and over her bra, lightly squeezing.

“Is it bad if I already want to to take this off of you?”

Judy reached behind her back and unclasped her own bra, tossing it god knows where, who fucking cares.

“Well shit, I should have told you I was staring at your tits a long time ago.”

Before Judy had the chance to respond, Jen was flipping them over so she could straddle Judy, and then Jen’s mouth was immediately on Judy’s breast, tongue swirling around her nipple.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Jen.”

Jen grinned against her, snaking one hand up to squeeze Judy’s other breast, gently pinching her nipple between two fingers as her tongue continued its ministrations.

Judy moaned, _loudly_ , and Jen immediately felt wetness pool at the sound.

“You’re so fucking sexy, Jude.” Jen pinched her nipple harder to accentuate her point, making Judy’s hips buck against her as she moaned again.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Jen.”

Jen sucked on her nipple for a moment before looking up to stare right into Judy’s eyes.

“Tell me exactly what you want.”

Judy was panting as Jen began rubbing both of her nipples simultaneously, stopping every few moments to flick one before soothing it with the pads of her fingers.

“I want you to fuck me. God, please fuck me, Jen.”

“Are you nice and wet for me?”

Judy nodded quickly. “Yes,” she moaned.

“That’s my good little girl.”

Judy whimpered, clearly turned on by Jen’s words, just as she thought she would be. She fucking _knew_ Judy would be eager to please in bed. God, she was so hot.

“Should I check? Make sure you’re telling the truth?”

“God, _please._ ”  
  
Jen gently pushed Judy away so she could sit up and pull the blankets off of them, finally letting herself see Judy’s bare legs and her lacy black thong.

Jen moved her hands to Judy’s ass, squeezing hard, letting one finger toy with the edge of her underwear. “You wear this for me?”

“Yes.”

“You gonna take them off for me, or you want me to do that?”

Judy shivered. “You can.”

“Ask me nicely.”

“Fuck, Jen. You’re so hot.”

Jen smiled at her. “I’m waiting, baby.”

“Jen, will you _pretty please_ take my panties off and touch my pussy?”

Jen couldn’t help it - she audibly moaned at hearing Judy, _her_ Judy, asking her so sweetly to touch her.

She hooked her fingers under Judy’s thong, slowly pulling them down, letting her fingers skim along Judy’s legs.

“How are you so _soft_?”

“I take moisturizing very seriously. It’s a three-step process-”

Judy suddenly gasped as two of Jen’s fingers began dragging themselves through her pussy, spreading wetness against Judy’s clit.

“Holyfuckingshit.”

Jen grinned wickedly. “You were telling the truth. You’re so fucking wet for me, baby.”

Jen put more pressure against Judy’s clit, delighting in the whimpers it elicited.

“Fuck Jen. _Fuuuuck_. Right there. I’m so stupid close already.”

Jen felt desire pool deep within her at Judy telling her she was close. “Already, baby? You are such a good girl, aren’t you? You gonna come for me?”

Judy nodded enthusiastically. Despite her hand being in Judy’s pussy, she couldn’t stop thinking about her _mouth_ , so Jen removed her hand (which made Judy whimper, which in turn made Jen smirk) and brought it up to Judy’s mouth, running her fingers which were coated with Judy’s wetness over her lips.

“I want to watch you suck yourself off of me.”

Judy moaned as Jen pushed her fingers into Judy’s mouth, Judy immediately using her tongue to lick Jen’s fingers, pushing herself forward so Jen’s fingers were reaching as far back into her mouth as she could handle.

“You look so fucking sexy like this. You’re fucking perfect. I could watch you do this forever.”

Jen relished in the sight of Judy sucking her fingers clean for a few more moments before she decided to stop torturing her.

“Good girl. I’m gonna make you come now, okay?”

“ _Please_ Jen, I can’t wait any longer. I need you so bad.”

“I’m gonna take care of you baby, don’t worry.”

Jen removed her fingers from Judy’s mouth, bringing them back down to caress Judy’s clit once more. She kissed Judy hard as she worked her clit, so turned on by just the taste of her that was lingering on Judy’s lips.

She circled her clit as she dipped a finger inside her, making Judy gasp into her mouth and begin to move frantically move against her.

“Jen, I’m gonna come if you do that again.”

“Is that a promise?”

Jen began pumping two fingers into Judy while her thumb pushed hard against her clit, Judy suddenly bucking hard against her as she let herself go.

“ _FUCK_ , Jen, baby - _fuck_ , I’m coming.”

Jen watched as Judy squeezed her eyes shut as her whole body shook. She lessened the pressure on Judy’s clit as she rode out her orgasm, keeping her fingers inside Judy as she continued gently rocking against her.

She kissed her cheek as she began coming back down. “You’re so fucking pretty when you come.”

Judy blushed (of course _that_ was making her blush after Jen had literally just fucked her, and somehow it was the cutest fucking thing).

“That was so much better than thinking about you while using a vibrator.”

Jen smirked as she removed her fingers from Judy, making her gasp slightly. “Ditto.”

Judy laughed as she leaned in to kiss Jen, the widest smile Jen had maybe ever seen spread across her face. “I love you.”

“I love _you_. You’re incredible.”

Judy shook her head as she gently pushed Jen’s shoulder, rolling over so she was on top of Jen, moving her legs to straddle her.

“I want to show you how perfect I think you are. And I really, _really_ want to get you out of these clothes. How the fuck are you still dressed?”

“Please for the love of god lower your expectations.”

Judy’s eyes softened immediately, and she suddenly looked so _sad_ , which made Jen feel like shit.

“Jen...you really don’t know how stunning you are, do you?”

Judy caressed her face as she leaned in to kiss her, slow and deep, gently sucking on her lower lip before pulling back.

“You’re fucking beautiful. I haven’t been telling you that all this time for shits and giggles. You’re a babe and a half.”

Jen cleared her throat, so desperately trying not to burst into tears right now because she really, _really_ didn’t want this night to become about her deep-seated issues with her body thanks to her dead husband thinking she was disgusting.

“I want to see all of you, Jen. Touch all of you. _Love_ all of you, okay? But we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I don’t want to, like, push you to do anything you don’t want to.”

Jen cursed the couple of tears she could feel escape her eyes. She didn’t know what the fuck she did to deserve Judy, but she would spend the rest of her life making sure she was worthy of this woman’s love.

“I trust you,” she whispered.

Judy smiled brightly. “You just tell me if you want me to stop at any point, alright?”

Jen nodded, tucking a lock of Judy’s hair behind her ear. “Thank you. For being you.”

Judy just kissed her, a silent “you’re welcome” in the form of lips and tongues brushing together. She moved her hands to the hem of Jen’s t-shirt, looking up at Jen to ask a silent question, waiting until Jen nodded before lifting the t-shirt over her head.

She gently ran her hands over Jen’s bra, lightly skimming her fingers over the fabric. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the center, smiling as Jen’s hand moved to her hair, lightly scratching her scalp as Judy continued running her hands over Jen’s bra.

“Can I take this off, hot stuff?”

Jen rolled her eyes, lifting up slightly so Judy could reach behind her back to unclasp her bra. She tugged the straps down, kissing Jen’s chin lightly before removing the bra completely.

Judy sighed. “Look at you. So beautiful.”

She leaned down and began peppering gentle kisses all over Jen’s chest, over the scars and the warped skin. Jen was so overwhelmed watching Judy take her time to lavish every inch of her chest. She had been waiting for the involuntary grimace, for Judy to be afraid to touch her, but nothing but love shone in Judy’s eyes as she kissed her all over with no hesitation.

“Judes. I really want you to fuck me. Like, right now.”

Judy looked up from Jen’s chest, worry creasing her forehead slightly. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“God no. Everything you’re doing is amazing. Which is why I need you _right now_. I just - I really love you, okay? I love you so fucking much and I can’t wait any longer for this.”

Judy looked like Jen had just told her that she was getting her a puppy, or ten. “Your wish is my command.”

Judy wasted no time pulling Jen’s flannel pajama pants down, pulling her underwear down along with them. As she made her way back up Jen’s body, she pressed a light kiss right at Jen’s entrance, darting her tongue out quickly to tease her before moving back up to Jen’s face, kissing her as her fingers edged closer to where Jen wanted them.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, okay?”

“Yeah, that is very much okay.”

Judy slipped two fingers into Jen, making Jen jolt against her.

“Oh fuck, Jude.”

Judy began slowly fucking her, removing her fingers completely each time before reentering Jen, curling her fingers more and more each time as Jen bucked against her hand in time with Judy’s thrusts.

“Mmmm, I knew you could handle two no problem. You want another one, sweetie?”

Jen thought she was going to fucking combust, and she silently cursed herself for all the months she spent not being fucked by Judy.

“Fucking _please_ baby.”

Judy slid three fingers into her, Jen letting out a guttural moan at how fucking good she felt.

“You are never sleeping in - _oh, fuck_ \- the guest house again.”

“Your pussy feels so good, Jen.”

“You feel so good. Fucking christ, Judy, you’re like, realy good at this.”

“I’ve had plenty of time to think about exactly how I wanted to fuck you. Speaking of…”

Judy brought her other hand to Jen’s mouth, dipping her fingers against her tongue quickly before bringing them down to her clit, rubbing back and forth while she continued fucking Jen with her other hand.

“Baby, oh fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer.”

“Good, I want to see what you look like when you come for me.”

Jen moaned and brought her hand up to one of Judy’s nipples, squeezing it as she bucked against Judy’s hands, knowing she was going to come any second now.

“Judes, I’m so close, don’t stop baby, holy shit, don’t stop.”

Judy pushed hard against Jen’s clit and felt Jen clench around her fingers, watching in awe as Jen screamed her name as she came.

“So so so beautiful.”

Jen was breathing heavily as Judy slowly removed her fingers, trailing them across Jen’s chest and then leaning down to kiss away the wet trail she left there.

“I hope you think my bed is comfortable because I am literally never letting you leave it ever again.”

Judy looked up at her and grinned. “That can be arranged.”

Jen patted the mattress beside here. “C’mere.”

Judy moved from her spot straddling Jen to lay beside her, Jen immediately pulling her into her body, Judy’s head coming to rest against her bare chest. Jen carded her fingers through Judy’s hair, brushing kisses all across her face.

After a few moments, Judy tapped her shoulder. “I’m waiting.”

“Huh?”

“I was under the impression that you would be serenading me with love songs tonight?”

Jen just smirked. “One - you’re absolutely ridiculous, and you’re lucky I love you so much. And two - I know something else my mouth could do for you right now that beats an off-key Celine Dion rendition.”

“So you’re saying you’d rather eat me out than express your love for me through song?”

“Uh...yes?”

Judy pretended to really consider this for a moment. “Yeah. Alright. I guess I’ll allow it, just this once.”

“Just this once, huh?”

“Mmhm. And then every night after that for the foreseeable future.”

Jen laughed as she pressed a kiss to Judy’s forehead before crawling towards the end of the bed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! let me know what you thought :)


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